Yami's Got The Xfactor!
by DarkspiritYami
Summary: Summary: what happens when our favourite Pharaoh goes into one the evilest yet entertaining competitions of all...? The X Factor! Not only that but he's reverted back to his season 0 self. Let the mayhem begin… Rated T for TORMENT! and based on the abridged personalities except Yami because he's just awesome!
1. Chapter 1

Yami Has the X FACTOR!

Summary: what happens when our favourite Pharaoh goes into one the evilest yet entertaining competitions of all...? The X Factor! Not only that but he's reverted back to his season 0 self. Let the mayhem begin… Rated T for TORMENT! and based on the abridged personalities except Yami because he's just awesome!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING!

**A/N: Dedicated to Dynamite & Soup! My new super special awesome Beta and partner for this fic! **

It was a sunny, happy, beautiful day in Domino City, birds are singing and children were playing children card games. In Kame Game Shop Yami was reading "Dark Magician Monthly" peacefully. In his soul room, in complete solidarity and silence. "YAMMMMIII!" Yugi bust into Yami Soul Room with a small piece of paper and pen in hand the excitement he felt couldn't contain it. "Yami! THE X FACTOR IS BACK! & I'M GOING TO APPLY! WILL YOU APPLY TOO?!"

"Emmmm" Yami looked over at Yugi who at this moment was pulling his biggest puppy dog-eyed look ever conceived even the cutest puppy was no match for yugi and neither was the young game king . "Damn Yugi! You get me every time with that face of yours; I will join you on this adventure. But Yugi, what is X Factor?" Yugi face fell as if the Wing Dragon of Ra had just appeared on his opponent's side of the deck and he lost. "YAMI, YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT XFACTOR IS?!" "Yugi, please stop shouting you're practically breaking the walls in my soul room." "But YAMI…" "I said calm down!" "Yes sir…" Yugi sat in the corner smutting like a five year old girl looking at a victorious Yami, "Ok Yugi what is the X Factor….?"

So after 2 hours of Yugi's lectures on how the X factor works, who is in it and everything from the past contestants to the fashion wars of the female judges Yami finally said "So, It's a singing competition right?" And as soon as Yugi hears this he falls in the classic anime style. "Yes Yami, it is a singing competition and I got our tickets booked, we leave for London tomorrow!" "But Yugi-I"but Yugi was already gone, and Yami was left with an expression that just said "What have I gotten myself into?"….

The next day Yami and Yugi had packed away a schoolbag with his duel disk, a spare pair of leather pants and his IPod. Well Yami didn't do any packing, just insulted Yugi constantly and annoyed him throughout the trip and 8 hours later…

"Hey Yami! Isn't this super special awesome we've finally made it to London! I wonder if the English are like Bakura." "Total Spazzes? Why yes they are Yugi!", now let's go and find the evilest man in the world..." "The spirit of the Millennium Ring?" "No Yugi. Simon Cowell!" and so Yugi and Yami set off to the O2 arena in London to see if they have the X Factor….

**That's chapter 1! This will be the shortest chapter! Next is the first audition! Will Yugi make it? Or will Yami have to save his chance of stardom? Find out next time!**


	2. Chapter 2: the first audition!

Yami's got The X Factor!

**Disclaimer: Again I OWN NOTHING! And Yami was a little abridged but that will change, MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA ! Remember () = Yami's thoughts and (()) are Yugi's thoughts through the mind link!**

Yami looked over at a transparent Yugi and then turned around to see the line ahead.

"(Just look at all the potential Fangirls…Oh crap on the Nile! They could be limey rabid Fangirls! Everyone knows they're the most deadly! Yugi, I can't do this!)".

"((Yami, you'll be alright. There are no Fangirls are in sight! …Wait where are you going?!))"

"(I'm getting out of here; one of _them _has spotted us! Run away!)".

"((That's just Tea and Joey, Pharaoh!))".

As Yami began what could only described as a 5,956 mile manic spirit to Japan, he tripped on an oddly misplaced jagged rock and fell down face-first on a nearby sidewalk. This all happened in front of his ninja Fangirls that were hidden in the shadows and ready to glomp at any moment.

"((Yami! Are you ok? Yami, YAMI! You need to get up!))"

"Uuuggghh." Yami wakes up and turns around to find the harem of ninja Fangirls surrounding him. Yami put his head down and the Fangirls attacked, only when his head snapped up they found a very scared and confused Yugi Motou who up until then had no clue what was going on.

"I'm NOT YAMI! LOOK OVER THERE, its BAKURA!" Yugi pointed over to a young albino. Luckily for Yugi, the ninja Fangirls were also Bakura Fangirls and it gave him ample time to escape them and to sign in at the arena for his audition…

A few hours later….

Yugi was sitting down in the main hall of the O2 arena trying to talk to his Aibou.

"((Yami are you ok? You haven't answered me in hours! You're up right after me under the name 'Yami Yugi'. Please answer me!))"

"(Uuuggh…. I'm alright Yugi I just need to rest for a while. I will watch you from inside the puzzle, but for now good luck!)"

"(Thanks Yami, I'll do my best!)"

Suddenly, a voice came out of nowhere and Yugi woke to the sound the of the producer.

"Yugi Motou! They're ready for you now, break a leg kid."

Yugi walked on to the stage to face his toughest challenge yet, singing in public. A fate that many people fled the country to avoid, and now it is Yugi's turn!...

As Yugi stepped on the stage, his stomach filled with metaphorical Kuribohs and found himself in front the two evilest creatures alive, along with Louis Walsh and for some reason Jaden Yuki.

"Hello sir what's your name-"

"Don't ya kno who that is Louis? That's the dog known as Yugi Motou, the King of Games! You don't know who that is, you better recognise dog!"

"Uhh Jaden you're not black" Yugi retorted quickly

"Yugi what are you singing today?" Simon said while examining his hair with curiosity.

"I'm singing 'Boyfriend' by Justin Bieber" (**A/N: cue Fangirl squeals.) **

"Begin Dog!"

As the instrumental began, Yugi started to clap his hands and started to dance, and then yelled, "This is for Tea!"….

_If I was your Pharaoh, I'd never let you go_

_I can take you places you ain't never been before_

_Tea take a chance or you'll never ever know_

_I got cards in my hands that I'd really like to play_

_Duel Duel Duel, with you_

_Chilin by the fire why we eatin' hamburgers_

_I dunno about me but I know about you_

_So say hello to Yami in three two one_

_I'd like to be everything you want_

_Hey Tea, let me talk to you.._

_If I was your Pharaoh, never let you go_

_Keep you on my arm girl, you'd never be alone_

_I can be a game king, anything you want_

_If I was your Pharaoh, I'd never let you go, I'd never let you go_

_Tell me what you like yeah tell me what you don't_

_I could be your Dark Magician fly across the globe_

_I don't wanna fight yeah, you already know how to duel,_

_I am 'ma a make you shine bright like you're laying in the snow_

_Burr_

_Tea, Tea, you could be my Queen_

_You could be my Queen until the - world ends_

_Make you dance do a spin and a twirl and_

_Voice goin crazy on this hook like a whirl wind kuriboh_

_I'd like to be everything you want_

_Hey Tea, let me talk to you_

_If I was your Pharaoh, never let you go_

_Keep you on my arm girl you'd never be alone_

_I can be a game king, anything you want_

_If I was your Pharaoh, I'd never let you go, I'd never let you go_

_So give me a chance, 'cause you're all I need Tea_

_Spend a week wit your Yugi I'll be calling you my Queen_

_If I was your Yami, I'd never leave you Tea_

_I just want to love you, and treat you right_

_If I was your Pharaoh, never let you go_

_Keep you on my arm girl you'd never be alone_

_I can be a game king, anything you want_

_If I was your Pharaoh, I'd never let you go, Take it Kuriboh!_

_do ta la la la la la la la la_

_Ya Tea _

_If I was your Pharaoh… _

As Yugi finished the song he knew he nailed it, because the crowd went wild and there was a harem of Yugi Fangirls fainting due to CFS (Crazed Fangirl Syndrome). Tea was in shock at how well Yugi sang and how he turned a song she truly loved into something about her. She was mouthing what looked like a massive friendship speech following with "Oh My MA'AT!".

After the crowd calmed down Yugi turned to the Judges. Jaden took the initiative and started the feedback to Yugi.

"DAYYNNG DOGGG! That was TTTYYYIGHT! That was totally original and you have my vote dogg! RESPECT!"

"Yeah Yugi, you remind me of a young wacky haired Bruce Lee." Louis agreed in the same Louis style; a hint of racism.

"(I swear, if he called me that because I'm Japanese I will send him to the shadow realm.)"

"((Calm down Aibou...))"

The guest Judge Alexis Rhodes answered with, "You sing like my brother and I like it!" then Alexis left the table to ask random Fangirls where her brother was and naturally they glomped her. And then there was Simon….

"Yugi, the song choice you made was more ridiculous than your hair. Really, how does Justin Bieber constitute as music? King of Games? More like King of Lame!"

"Simon that was way harsh dogg! Ya really need to lighten up and chill mannn." Jaden retorted quickly as Yugi just stared blankly at him, heartbroken at the fact Simon didn't like his unique spin on the song.

"Now it's time to vote! Louis!"

"Ok Yugi, you have a lot of potential and I like your style. So my answer is… YES! Jaden!"

"Dog that was off the chain! A big hell yeah! Simon!"

"Yugi I don't think you are able to go through to the next round. I feel that you don't have any talent in this aspect of the competition so it's a No from me. Alexis left a note saying 'Let Yugi kitty face KOOON! Through.' So- you have three yes' and we'll see you at boot camp."

Yugi thanked them and left the stage, his eyes nearly flooding with tears. He talked politely to Dermot O'Leary and then sprinted to the greenroom.

"(What' wrong, you got through! Congratulations!)"

"((I know I should be happy Yami, but Simon Cowell said he hated my version of the song. If he hates it then I won't make it to the live rounds!))" Yugi broke down crying his panda-like eyes out and whining like a little Fangirl after someone has told her that Yu-Gi-Oh! isn't real.

"(Aibou It's been a long day why don't you just rest in your soul room and watch my audition? But promise me that you'll relax until I give you the signal that I'm performing. Do you understand? )"

"((Ok Yami just give the sign...))"

"Yami Yugi!" Katie the executive producer called into the greenroom, which signaled Yami to take over….

The crowd looked slightly confused at what they thought was the same boy coming out to audition again.

"Yami Yugi is it? And by any chance are you related to Yugi Motou?" asked Louis.

"Yes he's my twin but I changed my last name."

"Now Yami, what are you going to sing today?" asked Simon.

"I'm going to sing 'Are You Gonna Be My Girl' by Jet. But first, Simon, I want to play a game." Yami answered as the Millennium Puzzle blazed and the entire O2 Arena was covered with shadow magic until only he and Simon were the only two that were visible.

"It's Game Time, Simon! The rules are simple. We shall hear the most high pitched and blood curdling screams known to man…"

"X Factor Rejects?"

"Close but no cigar" Yami leaned in closer and whispered "FANGIRLS…"

Simon let out an audible gasp. Yami pulled out a small hourglass and continued with, "The winner is the person who can withstand the noise until the sand runs out. GAME START!"

Yami sat across from Simon and both calmly listened while the screams started. As time went on, though, Simon started to look slightly irritated by the noise.

"What's wrong Simon? You don't like my taste in music? Are you ready to give up?" Yami teased jokingly with a dark smirk and crimson tinges of fire starting to appear in his velvet eyes. Simon looked ever more anxiously at the hourglass.

"This is ridiculous. I'm Simon Cowell, I have a job to do!" Yami looked at him with the same smirk.

"The Door of Darkness has been opened…" he murmured.

"This is stupid! Look the timer's already done!" and as Simon spoke those words he grabbed the hourglass and smashed it, sending sand and shards of glass all over the smokey, purple ground. "Now there is no timer, so therefore I win!" Yami looked at him so maliciously that even the puppies Kaiba killed with his smiles weren't safe from his wrath. The eye of Horus appeared on Yami's forehead burning like a million suns and the fires of hell.

"I knew you wouldn't follow my rules, Simon. The game we've just played was a Yami No Game; now face the penalty game for those who break the rules… PUNISHMENT GAME OF FATE!" Yami pointed at Cowell and the Eye of Horus enveloped the malicious judge, forcing him to face his worst Nightmare. The ghosts of X Factor's past and Jedward's albums on loop for eternity….

"NOOOOOO!" Shouted Simon as he went into foetal position and whimpered something about wanting his solid gold teddy bear. Just then, the shadows disappeared, and they were back in the O2 Arena.

"Okay…. Show us what ya got Yami!" Jaden said cheerfully gently ignoring Simon's little breakdown.

Yami listened to the instrumental as pulled a smexy face while wearing his signature jacket like a cape and his dark leather pants looking as skin-tight as ever. Before he started, he winked at Tea.

"This is for my Anzu!" he called out.

_So one, two, three, take my hand and come with me_

_Because that gunman's on fire _

_And That I really wanna save your life._

_I say you look so fine _

_That I really wanna make you mine._

_Oh, four, five, six c'mon and play my games_

_Now you don't need that money _

_When you look like that, do ya honey._

_Big black boots, _

_short brown hair, _

_She's so sweet _

_With her get blue eyed stare._

_Well I could see, _

_You home with me, _

_But you were with Kaibaman, yeah!_

_I know we, _

_Ain't got much to __say, _

_Before I help you get away, yeah!_

_I said, are you gonna be my Anzu?_

_Well, so one, two, three, take my hand and come with me_

_Because the gunman's on fire _

_and That I really wanna save your life._

_I say you look so fine _

_That I really wanna make you mine._

_Oh, four, five, six c'mon and play my games _

_Now you don't need that money_

_With a face like that, do ya._

_Big black boots, _

_short brown hair, _

_She's so sweet _

_With her get big blue eyed stare._

_Oh yeah, oh yeah, c'mon!_

_I could see,_

_You home with me, _

_But you were with Kaibaman, yeah!_

_I know we, _

_Ain't got much to say, _

_Before I help you get away, yeah!_

_Uh, be my Anzu._

_Be my Anzu._

_Are you gonna be my Anzu? _

_Yeah. _

As the song finished, the whole arena stood up in a standing ovation including the judges, with the exception of Simon. At the moment, he was now looking at Mai Valentine and asking her if she was his mummy and if she would read him a bedtime story. After everything calmed down and the squad of ambulances had taken away all the poor Yami Fangirls who contracted a near fatal case of CFS, the Judges gave their say.

"Simon?..." Louis said mockingly "what did you think?"

"Of what greying leprechaun?! All I heard was singing and strange screeching! Please grant me my wish and give me a golden teddy bear, giant fur ball?"

"For the last time, MY NAME IS JADEN! Anyway, that was AWESOMEEE! MANNN! You have stolen all the girl's hearts and I hope your Anzu is watching man because she's a lucky gal! Alexis!"

"I really like you; you give me funny feelings, kind of like the ones Syrus gave to me on Monday …."

"Ok… let's start voting, Louis!"

"Yami you have a lot of potential and I think you'll go far, YES! Jaden."

"Mann you got the style and the swag! Yea!"

"Alexis says YES! Simon?"

"Yes, pretty lady, yes!"

"Yami, you've got 4 Yeses! Congratulations!"

"Thank you!" Yami replied while turning to leave with a dark smirk on his face.

"((Congrats pharaoh you've made it through too! I wonder what happened to Simon… One minute he was fine, the next he was acting like a two year old…..))"

"(I need to rest Aibou, could I turn off the mind link for a while? And I have no clue…)"

**End of chapter 2! He's here… Yay! Let the parodies and Yami No Games Begin! Big shout out to Dynamite and Soup my partner in crime and Betaaaa! Love u mannn! As always please READ AND REVIEW! ****  
**


	3. Chapter 3: Bootcamp!

Yami's got the X Factor!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Except the torment!

_**Previously on YGTXF….**_

"_**Yami, you've got 4 Yeses! Congratulations!" **_

"_**Thank you!" Yami replied while turning to leave with a dark smirk on his face. **_

"_**((Congrats pharaoh you've made it through too! I wonder what happened to Simon… One minute he was fine, the next he was acting like a two year old…..))" **_

"_**(I need to rest Aibou, could I turn off the mind link for a while? And I have no clue…)" **_

**Now a couple of weeks later…..**

"Welcome back everyone, to the X Factor bootcamp auditions! Simon is still on break for health reasons, but will be back next week. We have a surprise for you now though, so meet our new guest judges, Seto Kaiba and Rita Ora! Welcome and best of luck!" Dermott O'Leary announced as the whole crowd cheered enthusiastically, except Bakura and Kaiba who were sitting down wearing their signature scowls. "Now, onto the auditions!" Dermott added and with a gesture in the form of a salute the auditions began…

The auditions went on for hours on end, with countless impatient Fangirls waiting to see the three men who had unintentionally walked into their lives and their fanfiction….

"Bakura, em, sorry what's your last name?" asked Katie,the executive producer, politely.

"I bloody don't have one! Now lead me to those infuriating judges before I feed you to my Fangirls!" Bakura threatened as he grabbed her by the collar of her shirt and pulled her forward.

"Ok Mr Bakura." She replied and then mumbled under her breath, "I was always more of a Marik fangirl anyways…"

"What did you just say?!" Bakura asked warily as he watched her with a look that said 'I'm gonna kill you in your sleep if you say another word'. He would have enacted on his urge to kill, but because it was his turn to face the judges it would have to wait for now…..

"Hello contestant- wait aren't you that limey kid from school that hangs around with Yugi and his friends?" asked Kaiba with a stoic yet inquisitive look that just said 'what the eff!'

"Close but no cigar Kaiba! I'm his- uh… brother!" _That sounds right, yes _he thought to himself, and continued with "and I'm singing 'Sex on Fire' by the Kings of Leon." Bakura took a moment to gag at the thought of him and Ryou being considered brothers. "Let me start my bloody audition already!"

The instrumental started and Bakura just stood there, holding the width of his blue, unbuttoned overshirt. He then winked at a small Fangirl who was readying herself to glomp him. "This is for my Fangirls…" he said smoothly.

_Lay where you're laying_

_Don't make a sound_

_you know I'm watching_

_I'm watching_

_All the commotion_

_The childrens card game_

_Has people talking_

_Talking_

_ooooh_

_your death is on fire_

_and sooo_

_Ryou's watching this transpire_

_Dark of the shadows_

_The breaking of spines_

_Head while I'm stealing items_

_I'm stealing_

_Soft lips are open_

_Them nuckles is pale_

_Feels like you're dying_

_Your dying_

_You_

_Your death is on fire_

_And so_

_Ryou's watching this transpire_

_Hot as a fever_

_Rattling bones_

_I could just taste blood_

_Taste blood_

_But it's not forever_

_But it's just tonight_

_Oh I'm still the greatest_

_The greatest_

_The greatest_

_Ooooh_

_Your death is on fire_

_oooh!_

_Your death is on fire_

_And so_

_Ryou's watching this transpire_

_And oooh!_

_Your death is on fire_

_And so_

_Ryou's watching this transpire…_

As the song finished, there was a large rumble that wasn't just applause. It was the sound of a million Limey Ninja Fangirls running towards the stage, prepared to give Bakura the glomp of a lifetime. Fortunately for Bakura, the millennium ring banished them all to the shadow realm. The judges thanked him for singing and also for getting rid of them. Bakura walked off without even acknowledging the judges.

"Hey, Bakura! Great job! And good luck for the next audition!" Yugi said cheerily, tapping him gently as to not annoy him that much. Unfortunately for him, that just angered Bakura even more and so he whipped around and punched him right in his dark magician-loving face.

"Get out of my way! After I beat your asses in this singing, I will finally become the main character! And there's nothing you can do about it, Yugi!" Bakura grabbed Yugi by his leather choker and pushed him against the nearest wall. Bakura was so involved in beating the crap out of Yugi that he didn't notice the baby panda's head falling down and Millennium Puzzle blazing as Yami took over….

Just as Bakura was about to assault Yugi again, his arm had been caught by Yami. The enraged pharaoh yelled, "Yami No Bakura, you have abused Yugi for the last time! IT'S GAME TIME!"

"Oh crap, he's back to season 0 isn't he?" Bakura sighed, knowing that he will be dragged into a shadow game.

Yami gave him a smirk, and then snapped his fingers. They were then somehow on the roof of a building, in a strange predicament. There was no doubt that this was the set up for a Yami-no-Game.

"The rules are simple; we are on the roof of the O2 Arena, and we are both tied to chairs and have a puzzle in our hands. Youre probably wondering why you can't see any of this… The catch to this game is that we are both blindfolded and to win you need to assemble the puzzle. Remember, anyone who cheats and peeks at the puzzle gets a punishment game. Now, GAME START!"

'_Really, he's playing these games again?! I wish I could've just killed him when I had the chance. Damn you, Hindsight! Well it doesn't matter anyway; if I win that insufferable pharaoh will get a punishment game.' _ Bakura thought to himself as he and Yami started the Yami No Game. "How are you getting on pharaoh? Afraid of heights?" Bakura said mockingly. Underneath, though, he could feel that he was going to lose.

"Remember Yami No Bakura, the Yami No Game is a true test of character and always reveals the truth." Bakura had already taken off the blindfold and had finished the puzzle when he said this.

"I win pharaoh, the puzzle is complete and it reveals the key to freeing myself! Goodbye pharaoh and happy landings!" Just as Bakura is about to untie himself, Yami appears in front of him and starts glaring at him with the intensity of a thousand knives stabbing into him. Bakura looked up and sees the eye of Horus staring blankly at his face. "What the hell? Why aren't you falling?"

"Because Yami No Bakura, you've broken the rules and the Door of Darkness has opened. PENALTY GAME!" as Yami spoke the rope holding Bakura's chair snapped leaving Bakura to fall off the arena, "Be swallowed by your own greed and let it wash away your lust for revenge!"

"Currrrrrrrssssseeeeeee yoooooouuuu phaaarrraaooh!" as Bakura fell Yami looked at him smirking, knowing that Bakura won't be a problem for a while…

Just then, yugi took over a mind linked with the pharaoh.

"((Yami! What happened?! Where's Bakura? And why are we on the top of the O2 arena?))" Yugi panicked as he looked around at what could only be described as a crime scene.

"(Bakura's fine, he's just gone for a little swim… and I decided to go for a little walk. Relax Aibou, It's my turn to perform now so why don't you go back into the puzzle and relax while I perform. After that you can have control back, ok?)" Yami said happily with a slight bitterness hidden inside the tone of his voice.

"((Alright my partner, I'll relax, all the best.))" Yugi submitted as they made their way to the stage…

"Hey Yugi, I didn't know you were in the competition. Anyway, perform!" Kaiba said surprisingly and with that the performance Yami started with a parody of 'Isis'by the Goo Goo Dolls.

_And I'd give up forever to duel you_

_Cuz I know that you'll challenge me somehow_

_I'm the greatest King of Games that you'll ever see_

_And I don't want to go home right now_

_And all I can taste is Marik's blood _

_And all I can take is your life_

_Cuz sooner or later it's over_

_I just don't want to miss this tonight_

_And I want the world to see me_

_Cuz I don't think that they'd understand_

_When every games made to be won_

_I'm just gonna make you know who I am_

_And you can't fight the tears that are coming_

_Or the moment of truth in my games_

_When everything feels like the manga_

_Yeah, you'd bleed if we weren't dubbed by 4kids_

_And I want the world to see me_

_Cuz I don't think that they'd understand_

_When every games made to be won_

_I'm just gonna make you know who I am_

_And I want the world to see me_

_Cuz I don't think that they'd understand_

_When every games made to be won_

_I'm just make you know who I am_

_I'm just gonna make you know who I am_

_I'm just gonna make you know who I am_

_I'm just gonna make you know who I am_

The performance had ended and every Fangirl that wasn't banished to the shadow realm screamed their heads off as if Yami was shirtless. "Thanks Yugi, I challenge you to a duel!" said Kaiba again mistaking Yami as Yugi.

"(My name is Yami idiot, and I'll just win again)" Yami thought to himself and Yugi as he walked off trimpthantly. "(Alright Aibou your turn)" and so Yami let Yugi take over…

Yugi walked out to the stage excited, yet a little bit nervous for the terror of performing in front of 50,000 people. "Hey Yugi, wait- didn't you just audition?"

"No that was my brother Yami, we're practically twins! Anyway I'm going to perform my own version of Stereo Hearts by Gym Class Heroes." Yugi answered.

"Then go for it Yugi! We have a duel after this!" Kaiba said impatiently and again the performance began!

_My heart's a Kuriboh_

_It fights for Tea, so listen close_

_Hear my thoughts in every mo-o-o-ove_

_Make me your deckmaster_

_And play him face up when run out of cards_

_This duel was meant for you_

_Just place your trap cards into my duel disk _

_Yu-Gi-Oh baby!_

_If I was just another kuriboh in your deck!_

_Would you play me face down or ignore me like everybody else?_

_If I asked you to play me in every duel, could you manage that?_

_Like yea fucked up, check it Yugi, I can handle that_

_Furthermore, I apologize for any lost duels_

_It's just the last person that played me was a total douchebag _

_I beat, beat him, beat him, now he'll get over that_

_'Cause GX is overrated and doesn't have Millennium Items_

_If I could only find a way to make Jaden understand_

_I'd Duel him into the and place winged Kuriboh in his hand_

_My Aibou's stuck inside my head, like my favourite tune_

_And know my heart's a Kuriboh that only plays for you_

_My heart's a Kuriboh_

_It fights for Tea, so listen close_

_Hear my thoughts in every mo-o-o-ove_

_Make me your deck master_

_And play him face up when run out of cards_

_This duel was meant for you_

_Just place your trap cards into my duel disk_

_Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh kuribo-oh!_

_Oh oh oh oh so place your trap cards into my duel disk_

_Let's go!_

_If I was a pile of starchips on duel kingdom (remember that?)_

_Would you wear me on your wrist wherever you duel_

_Would you play the Eygptian gods in front of Seto Kaiba (play it man!)_

_And play Exodia everytime Kaiba plays The Blue eyes white dragon!_

_And all I ask is that you don't get mad at me_

_When you have to listen to all my card game jokes_

_Appreciate every game your friends play_

_You never know when Yami Bakura will play a shadow game_

_I think I finally found a card to make you understand_

_If you can play it and take me by the hand_

_Just keep Yami stuck inside your head, like your favorite tune_

_You know my heart's a Kuriboh, that only plays for you_

_My heart's a kuriboh_

_It fights for tea, so listen close_

_Hear my thoughts in every mo-o-o-ove_

_Make me your deckmaster_

_And play him face up when run out of cards_

_This duel was meant for you_

_Just place your trap cards into my duel disk_

_My heart's a Kuriboh_

_It fights for tea, so listen close_

_Hear my thoughts in every mo-o-o-ove_

_Make me your deck master_

_And play him face up when run out of cards_

_This duel was meant for you_

_Just place your trap cards into my duel disk_

_Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh Kuribo-oh_

_Oh oh oh oh so place your trap cards into my duel disk_

_I only pray you'll never leave me behind (never leave me)_

_Because good Duelists can be so hard to find (so hard to find)_

_I take your deck and hold it closer to mine (yeah)_

_Thought Zexal made Yu-Gi-Oh! Dead, but now the fans are (yeah) loving us! (Come on whoa)_

_Oh oh oh oh, oh oh oh oh to Kuribo-oh! (It's your boy Yugi)_

_Oh oh oh oh (Yu-Gi-Oh! Baby!) So sing along to your Yu-Gi-Oh!_

_Yeah_

At the end of Yugi's performance, all of the Yugi Fangirls contracted a fatal case of CFS and the rest of the crowd all stood and gave him a standing ovation. Kaiba even gave him a smirk _**(=300 dead puppies) **_and Yugi left with a smile as big as the winged dragon of Ra. He left hopefully for he still needed to return later for his result…..

**MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I left you at a cliffie! Btw thanks to Dynamite and Soup for all the help love u mannn! **


	4. Chapter 4: Bootcamp part 2

Yami's got the X Factor

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Except the parodies and the madness!**

**Previously on YGTXF….. **_**all of the Yugi Fangirls contracted a fatal case of CFS and the rest of the crowd all stood and gave him a stand ovation and Kaiba even had given him a smirk (=300 puppies) and Yugi left with a smile as big as the winged dragon of Ra and he left hopefully for only to return for the result…..**_

The Next Day…..

Yugi arrived at the O2 arena waiting in anticipation with his heart slowly creeping up and out of his chest. He was standing in the crowd of 50 people who will now become 25…

"Alright let's get started. Will M.R Bakura come forward please?" announced Louis as the crowd hushed. Bakura stepped forward as small smirk appeared on his face.

"Congratulations you have made it to the next round!" Louis announced happily. Bakura left without even acknowledging the judges praise. The call backs continued on and as the list went on Yugi became more and more nervous. Finally, he heard,

"Yugi Motou and Yami Yugi! Wait where's Yami?" Yugi mentally face palmed himself and made an excuse for him.

"He's just away to the bathroom; the excitement was just a bit too much for him." Yugi explained

"((Hopefully that will stick and they will just move on))"

"(Let's hope it does Aibou)"

The judges brushed Yami's absence off and told Yugi that will be put into a group with two others and will have to make a choice between a list of certain songs. Unfortunately for Yugi, he was paired with two ninja Yugi Fangirls! And they already had the song in mind...

"(Aibou let me take over; I need to find out who my partner is for the next audition.)" Yami said with a subtle demanding tone in his voice. Yami just took over before Yugi could even answer and walked over to the notice with the list of groups. When he saw who he was paired with, a look of pure horror appeared on his face. "Oh no Dear RA NO! Anyone but him…"

Yami rubbed his eyes to make sure he wasn't seeing things.

"Bakura. Oh crap on the Nile! Why the hell do the gods test me so…" but just as Yami was about to launch into a dramatic monologue with flashbacks and other sentimental crap the darkened chuckling of a certain thief king was heard…

"Oh, what's wrong Pharaoh? You look like you've seen a ghost! Looks like we're partners! " Bakura looked at the Pharaoh darkly as if there was a plot behind his 'smile', well his smirk anyway! "And now Pharaoh I have the perfect song plan for our audition. Let's do 'Payphone' by Maroon 5 & Wiz Khalifa, it explains our relationship perfectly. Not to mention we will make a lot of impressionable Fangirls very happy!"

"Do you think I care about Fangirls?! No way am I teaming up with you!" Yami screamed like a five year old girl and began to pout in the corner.

"Well, if you don't want to make it to the next round go ahead and I'll go further than you. And I bet I could get the midget to quit somehow..." Bakura remarked with his signature sarcasm to antagonise the pharaoh even more.

"I have to carry on to the next round then!" Yami said with defeat in his voice. "But if you do anything to Yugi that will harm him in anyway or get him kicked out of the competition, I will play another shadow game with you. And this time, Tomb Robber, there won't be any escape from the penalty game…"

"Alright, we have a deal then. For now…" Bakura retorted with bitterness shown obviously in the tone of his voice "Let's get to work then!"…

After a few hours of practice, Bakura and Yami felt they had the song down. They were now arguing over who was the sexier of the two.

As Bakura was bragging about the manly scar he used to have, Yami's head fell down and Bakura didn't notice the young pharaoh turn into his smaller counterpart.

"What!? Where am I? Why is Bakura here? I thought I was partners with those two Ninja Fangirls…"

"Isn't it obvious?! Your alter ego has the pleasure of being my bit-partner for the next round of the auditions! Anyway, the pharaoh and I are next for our audition so would kindly bring him back so we can perform our song!"

As Bakura finished Yugi's head fell down yet again and the Millennium Puzzle blazed slightly as Yami took over…

"Oh what is it now thief? Do you want me to find Marik so you could go 'play shadow games' together?" Yami remarked sarcastically as he tried to provoke Bakura. Once again, Bakura made a face that could only be described as an 'I'm going to kill you as soon as I can get the chance' face. But for now, they have an audition to do…..

"Yami Yugi and Bakura?," Katie the executive producer announced to the two. "It's time, Break a leg guys."

As they were walking through the halls to the stage both of them had the same thought of: "(When can I kill that annoying ass of a girl?)". The two of were so lost at the idea of mediocre torture to notice that they were in front of the four judges.

"Hello Yami?" Simon cringed as he said Yami's name and had a look of fear that could only be compared to a Christian priest looking at the Devil. "So what are you singing today?"

"Well, we are singing our own version of 'Payphone' by Maroon 5 and Wiz Kalifia" Bakura interrupted the obvious stare-off between Yami and Simon.

"Well let's begin then!..." Yami got the crowd going as Bakura scowled at him thinking about what the hell he was in for….

_I'm in the puzzle trying to remember  
All of my memories of Egypt  
Where have the times gone  
3000 years on, where are the plans I made to rule?_

Yeah, I, I know it's hard to remember  
The person I used to be  
It's even harder to picture  
That you're not my nemesis  
You say it's too late to make up for it  
But is it too late to try?  
And in our time that you plotted against me  
All of our bridges burned down

I've wasted my 3000 years  
You turned into a psycho  
Now I'm the nameless Pharaoh  
Still stuck in that time when we called it home  
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm in the puzzle trying to remember  
All of my memories of Egypt  
Where have the times gone  
3000 years on, where are the plans I made to rule?

If happy ever after did exist  
I would've saved you from your fate  
All those priests are full of sh*t  
One more stupid duel and I'll be sick

You turned your back on tomorrow  
Cause you never forgot yesterday  
I gave you my word to borrow  
But just gave it away  
You can't expect me to be fine  
I don't expect you to care  
I know I've said it before  
But all of our bridges burned down

I've wasted 3000 years  
You turned into a psycho  
Now I'm nameless Pharaoh  
Still stuck in that time when we called it home  
But even the sun sets in paradise

I'm in the puzzle trying to remember  
All of my memories of Egypt  
Where have the times gone  
3000 years on, where are the plans I made to rule?

If happy ever after did exist  
I would've saved you from this fate  
All those priests are full of sh*t  
One more stupid duel and I'll be sick

Now I'm in the puzzle...

(Bakura)  
Man work that sh*t  
I'll be out stealing all the items while you sitting round  
Wondering why it wasn't you who lost everything  
It started in Kul Ena  
Now when you see me I'm duelling  
And all of items work with shadow magic  
Telling me the chances of a new life or whatever you call it  
Switched the number to my phone  
So you never could call it  
Don't need my name on Yu-Gi-Oh!  
You can tell it I'm ballin'  
Swish, what a shame your father could have changed your fate  
Had a really good shadow game but you missed your last shot and lost  
So you talk about me you see at the palace  
Or what you could've saw  
But sad to say it's over for you  
Zorc pulled up valet open doors  
Kitty like go away, got what you was looking for  
Now ask me who they want  
So you can go and take that little piece of sh*t with you

I'm in the puzzle trying to remember  
All of my memories of Egypt  
Where have the times gone  
3000 years on, where are the plans we made for two?

If happy ever after did exist  
I would've saved from you this fate  
All those priests are full of sh*t  
One more stupid duel and I'll be sick

Now I'm in the puzzle...

When they were finished, both Yami and Bakura's Ninja Fangirls fell to their knees and contracted CFS. They then were rushed to the nearest hospital, yet again. The whole crowd (even Simon) were up on their feet giving them a standing ovation and cheering. Simon was still shying away from Yami's gaze as if he was afraid Yami would play his games with him.

"Now you guys, will you leave for a minute so we can discuss your performance? Then we'll bring you back for our final decision for your fate in the XFactor." said Louis in his most dramatic leprechaun voice.

A few minutes later….

Yami and Bakura returned to the stage, with the anticipation and intensity in the air so great they could taste it. "After careful deliberations and thought, we decided you both are going to judges houses!" Tulisa announced as Bakura left without even acknowledging her praise. Yami thanked them respectfully and left the stage, and now it was set for Yugi's turn….

**Now I'm leaving you at another cliffy will Yugi triumph or will he lose his soul to the shadow realm wait- that's the wrong game but, will he go to main place known as judge's houses or will he lose to his Yami? You'll find out I'm a about to summon it! BTW thanks to the Mann with the pwannn aka Dynamite and soup love ya mannn! **


	5. Chapter 5: Bootcamp part3

**Yami's got the X factor!**

**Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! Except the parodies and the madness and some of this madness has to been donated by the ever so generous Dynamite and Soup! Here we go….**

As Yami left the stage he lowered his head and quickly switched to Yugi just as they approached the staircase. This action inevitably caused Yugi to fall.

"Yaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmmmmmmmmii iii!" Yugi fell completely flat on his face, but because he was an anime character, it only took a millisecond for him to recover.

"/Thanks a lot Yami,/" Yugi mindlinked sarcastically. "/Just remember, whatever happens to my body, you'll have to deal with it later. Also, the Fangirls will strike if they see weakness in us./" Yami had just gotten over the shock of working with Bakura and retreated peacefully back to the puzzle, all while silently mocking Yugi.

"/Ok Aibou , but it's time to prepare for your next performance./" 

"Yugi Motou? You're next, break a leg kid!" Katie the executive producer announced. She then led Yugi towards the stage that was surrounded by Fangirls that didn't look too good…

"Hello Yugi, Yuki, and Kura. What are you singing today?" Louis asked innocently, while looking at Simon with interest to see how he would react to the young midget-twin.

"We're singing our own version of 'Call Me Maybe' by Carly Rae Jepsen." Kura and Yuki said in an eerie unison. Just as the instrumental started though, the two Fangirls had fainted and also contracted a near fatal case of CFS, due to over exposure to Yugi. They were immediately whisked off to the hospital in a very cartoon like fashion.

"Anyway, Yugi carry on with your performance," Simon said warily as he stared at the cause of several thousand Fangirl deaths and his own mental breakdown a few weeks ago…

"This is for all the puzzleshipping fans out there!" Yugi announced as the music restarted and he strutted his stuff around the stage.

I shared my soul for a wish,  
Pennies and dimes for this wish  
I wasn't looking for this,  
But now you're in my head

That deck you're holdin',  
leather pants, an eye glowing'  
Hot night, wind was blowin'  
Where you think you're going, Yami?

Hey, I just met you,  
And this is crazy,  
But you're sharing my body,  
So duel me maybe?

It was hard to solve it ,  
the puzzle Yami,  
But you're sharing my body,  
So duel me maybe?

Hey, I just met you,  
And this is crazy,  
But you're sharing my body,  
So duel me maybe?

And all the other duellists,  
Try to face me,  
But you're sharing my body ,  
So duel me maybe?

You took your time with the mindlink,  
I took no time with the duel  
You gave me nothing at all,  
But still, you're in my head

I duelled and shadow games  
losing life points felt so real  
Kaiba thought I wasn't real,  
But you're in my head

the deck you're holdin',  
leather pants, an eye was glowin'  
Hot night, wind was blowin'  
Where you think you're going, Yami?

Hey, I just met you,  
And this is crazy,  
But you're sharing my body,  
So duel?

It was hard to solve it ,  
the puzzle Yami,  
But you're sharing my body,  
So duel me maybe?

Hey, I just met you,  
And this is crazy,  
But you're sharing my body,  
So duel me maybe?

And all the other duellists,  
Try to face me,  
But here's my number,  
So call me, maybe?

Before you came into my life  
I needed you so bad  
I needed you so bad  
I needed you so, so bad

Before you came into my life  
I needed you so bad  
And you should know that  
I needed you so, so bad

It's hard to solve it,  
the puzzle Yami,  
But you're sharing my body ,  
So duel me?

Hey, I just met you,  
And this is crazy,  
But you're sharing my body,  
So duel me maybe?

And all the other duellists,  
Try to face me,  
But you're sharing my body,  
So duel me maybe?

Before you came into my life  
I needed you so bad  
I needed you so bad  
I needed you so, so bad

Before you came into my life  
I needed you so bad  
And you should know that

So duel me, maybe?

As Yugi finished, millions of ninja Fangirls stormed towards the stage. Fortunately though, they contracted CFS when they had the stage within their clutches, as getting too close to the object of their affection was a cause of the disorder. After a few minutes of deliberation, the judges called Yugi back to decide his fate….

"After close deliberation," Tulisa announced, "and also taking into account the fact that both your teammates nearly died, we've decided that you're going through to judge's houses! Congrats Yugi!" As soon as the words left her mouth, the millions of diseased Fangirls congratulated him with the only thing they know how- GLOMPING! As they were quickly approaching, all that Yugi can think of is… "/REVENGE is a Bitch Yami!/" Yugi drops his head and the Yugi Fangirls found themselves in the midst of a full scale glomp with Yami…

**In honour of Porky Pig, "That's all folks!"** **big thanks to DAS and sorry for the long wait, assignments have been piling on and I haven't had a chance to even look at my fics, until now… **

**NON-MELVIN'D WILL BE GIVEN TO THE AWESOME REVIWERS! And please check out DAS's awesome fics she co-writes Melvin Ishtar: American Idol with Ghostfairy and works with yours truly on several other fics including Yu-Gi-Oh: A sort of Batman story! I know a shameless plug….**

**Bye Guys! **


	6. Chapter 6: JUDGES HOUSES

Yami's got The Xfactor!

Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! So yea happy belated Halloween….

As the weeks carried on and Yugi tried to challenge random English people to a duel, he couldn't help but notice how many people ignored his challenge and asked for his autograph instead.

"/Wow Yami. I don't know how to break this to you but… They. Don't. Know. DUELMONSTERS!/"

A transparent Yami looked at Yugi in both shock and horror. He then decided to take over and look for Bakura or Simon to torture them a little more.

"Heeheehee, well look who we have here. If it isn't our favourite on again/off again yaoi couple, Marik and Bakura!" Yami smirked as he walked over to them ready for what could only be the pwning of the lifetime.

"What the Frigg is he doing here?! Did you invite him Bakura?"

"I bloody didn't invite that ridiculous wanker of a pharaoh Marik, he would just rat us out!" Bakura roared at Marik like the feisty kitty cat he is.

"Who would I need to rat you out to, thief? Your yaoi-loving Fangirls? Anyways, let's play a game…" Yami smirked as he summoned the shadows and they were set to play a whole new version of a shadow game, something more terrifying than anything the terrible two have ever encountered… unadulterated Fangirls!

"Yami No Bakura and Marik, as you can see we are all chained to three logs, which restrain us and also give the Fangirls the opportunity to see us all in chains. Once they smell the bondage, they will attack us and the last one to survive with his insanity intact wins. But remember, The Yami No Game doesn't lie. If you cheat a punishment game awaits…" Yami showed a stern yet mischievous smirk on his face knowing one of them is going to slip up….

"Bondage you say?" Bakura piped up, his curiosity piqued "And being turned to shreds? Brilliant! It's not like we can reject, but this should be good fun!"

"This isn't too bad Bakura, I mean if you shrug off some of the glomping I think we'll win!" Marik said enthusiastically as he started to bear the Harem of Fangirls.

"Between me and you, Marik," Bakura whispered, "I have a knife in my side pocket and I can break us free, we only need to make sure that that infuriating wanker can't bloody see me. But it looks like he's a little 'distracted' at the moment…" as Bakura finished his sentence the Fangirls continued by the millions grabbing and touching anything they could find that was either Bakura's, Marik's or Yami's….

"Hurry up Bakura," Marik whispered as Bakura reached for the knife, "the Fangirls have ripped the majority of my clothes off and you'll never set us free when you get distracted by the sight of my midriff!" Then suddenly there was a large sinister laugh echoing through the shadow realm…

"ha ha Ha HAHAHAHA! I knew you couldn't follow the rules! Now face your fate, PENALTY GAME!" and with that the eye of Horus appeared on Yami's head and the rope fell off him like feathers. Yami then appeared to be floating towards the two cheaters, and as they looked into Yami's eyes they both saw their worst nightmares.

On the outside, they were lifeless shells with their eyes rolled back into their heads. But what the outside world didn't see was that the two villains souls' were in the shadow realm, and each was living their own worst knightmare.

Marik looked around the shadows and couldn't see anyone around for miles. "Hello? Where the Frigg am I? And wait-is that a mirror? Yay I can look at myself for hours on end until the pharaoh lets me go…" but what the reflection in the mirror showed was a vision so terrifying that the Marik Fangirls best turn away now…

Marik's midriff has become a beer gut and he is now bald! "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU PHARAOH!"….

Elsewhere in the shadow realm, our favourite albino is looking around what seems to be a highly polished and golden room. He then turns and sees the Pharaoh with a chain and a cat collar for Bakura.

"What the hell I'm not wearing that!"

"Oh you'll find that you are and will do everything I say, SLAVE!" and Bakura turned to see his audience of thousands looking at him in just cat collar and chain .

"CURSE YOU PHARAOH!"

Yami laughed, as he had seen the tormented looks on his victim's faces as they were in the shadow realm. Once satisfied that his enemies have been taken care of, (despite not doing anything to him since the assault Yugi encountered a few weeks ago) he put sharpie moustaches on their lifeless bodies and strutted away like the bamf he is.

_A week later…._

Yugi was waiting at Heathrow airport with the slightly traumatised albino and four other contestants: John, a massive anime fanboy with a tendency to like yaoi a little too much, Steve, the speaking mime, a young man with glasses named Harry, and M.R Stabby, a wizard who turns into a knife when Melvin is around.

"Are you Yugi Motou?" A shaded figure asked as he appeared out of nowhere and shook his hand.

"Yes I am. You're not gonna kill me or trap any of my friends souls in the shadow realm are you?"

"Uh noooooo…. I'm here to give to the secret location of your mentor's house for Judges Houses…. Why would you ask me something like that?"

"Well. that's just what generally happens to me when I meet shaded figures." Yugi answered cheerfully. Secretly, he was thinking back to every time he was confronted by mysterious stranger. And with that note the shaded figure disappeared and Yugi opened up the envelope…

Yami and Yugi looked at the letter with antipaction hoping for a hot and sunny paradise, or Ireland for a change in scenery. Yugi read the letter out loud.

"_Congratulations contestants! You have been given a once in a life time opportunity to change your lives, so with this I invite you to the lovely city of Domino in Japan!_

_Good luck, _

_Your mentor."_

"Oh crap on the Nile, we're going back to Japan!" The three anime stars gawked at each other (with Bakuras trauma wearing off) and words couldn't express the anger they felt at the cop out location. 

"Well Yami, at least we can see all our friends again!" Yugi said cheerfully.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Anything but them!" Yami replied and then plunged into what looked like the pout of a lifetime. And with that they ventured to Egypt-I mean Japan…

_11 hours later…_

The Ygo crew and the boring "Dead weight", as Bakura referred to the 3 other contestants, waited in a random mansions entryway as the mysterious mentor made his grand entrance…

Dermot O'Leary walks out of the hallway of the mentor's mansion. "Please welcome your mentor and his assisstant, Mr. Simon Cowell and our new voice coach, Marik Ishtar!"

Before Simon could say a word, Marik immediately started spouting nonsense. "Firstly, I will show all of you how it's done with the help of uh, Mr. Bakura is it?" Marik had to pretend he didn't know his kitty, as he is well aware that if the producers find out that his on/off boyfriend is on the show he will be disqualified, or Marik himself could be fired. And everyone knows that Marik needs his daily dose of performing Lady Gaga and criticising people while stroking his Millennium Rod. He grabbed Bakura by the arm and shouted,

"I don't know you in the slightest! Now, let us sing a parody on the spot that would've taken a while to work out and memorize! HIT IT!"

And with that, the music started.

_Red One_

_Kura_

_Marik_

_I've got a little bit too angry_

_All of the people start to run._

_Start to run away._

_A dizzy twister duel_

_Can't find my drink or leather pants._

_Where is my rod, I lost my mind._

_What's going on on the floor?_

_Melvin's come out baby, but I can't see straight anymore._

_Keep it cool why do I want a hug?_

_I can't remember but it's alright, alright._

_Just duel. Gonna be okay._

_Da-doo-doo-duel_

_Just duel. Play those shadow games._

_Da-doo-doo-duel_

_Just duel. Gonna be okay._

_Duh-duh-duh-duh_

_Duel. __Duel. Duel. Just duel._

_Wish I could shut my playboy mouth._

_Why isn't my shirt not showing my midiff? My midriff babe._

_Control your mind steve_

_4kids with censors they say._

_And they're all gettin' murdered tonight._

_What's going on on the floor?_

_I love lady gaga baby, but I can't see straight anymore._

_Keep it cool why do I want a hug?_

_I can't remember but it's alright, alright._

_Just duel. Gonna be okay._

_Da-doo-doo-duel_

_Just duel. Play those shadow games._

_Da-doo-doo-duel_

_Just duel. Gonna be okay._

_Duh-duh-duh-duh_

_Duel. Duel. Duel. Just duel._

_[Bakura]_

_When I come through to the battle city finals checking out that catalogue._

_Can't believe my eyes so many decks without an egyptian god._

_And I ain't gonna' give it up, steady tryna pick it up like a cardl_

_I'm gonna play it, face down and hit your life points until you lose the duel, yeah_

_Shorty i can see that you got so much energy_

_The way you duelling with them hips going round and round_

_There's no reason at all why you can't leave here with me_

_In the meantime stay, let me watch you play face it down._

_Just duel. Gonna be okay._

_Da-doo-doo-duel_

_Just duel. Play those shadow games._

_Da-doo-doo-duel_

_Just duel. Gonna be okay._

_Duh-duh-duh-duh_

_Duel. __Duel. Duel. Just duel._

_all psychotic, sick hypnotic got my Millennium Rod it's symphonic._

_all psychotic, sick hypnotic got my Millennium Rod electronic._

_All psychotic, sick hypnotic got my Millennium Rod it's symphonic._

_All psychotic, sick hypnotic got my Millennium Rod electronic._

_Go. Use your monster card, carve it out, work it, hustle_

_I got it, just stay close enough to duel you_

_Don't slow! Drive it, play it dirty lysol, bleed it_

_play the last card_

_(I got it)_

_In your dueldisk_

_(I got it)_

_Just duel. Gonna be okay._

_Da-doo-doo-duel_

_Just duel. Play those shadow games._

_Da-doo-doo-duel_

_Just duel. Gonna be okay._

_Duh-duh-duh-duh_

_Duel. __Duel. Duel. Just duel._

As Marik finished the song, the surronding area of Domino was invaded by the many Japanese ninja-Fangirls. They all contracted a special case of CFS, the only case that becomes infectious when there is even the slightest trace of theifshipping around. This time though, the smallest case would become near fatal and the Fangirl insanity epidemic worsened.

"Yeah there's nothing strange about that…" Yami whispered bitterly to a transparent Yugi, though he was secretly jealous of Marik's Lady Gaga parody skills.

"Now, since it's Halloween we have decided that you are all singing Halloween songs. You have 2 hours to prepare a song and we will then chose the final 3 to advance to the live shows. May the best men win!" Simon announced.

"But it's November DarkSpiritYami! Why the bloody hell are we singing Halloween songs? It's not Halloween anymore." Bakura said.

**STOP BREAKING THE 4****TH**** WALL BAKURA! Do you want me to paddle you?!" **

"No ma'am I'll be good…."

"**Good! Now back to the plot! "**

After 2 hours of intense off screen practice, the songs were ready and the stage was set for a certain thief to take it…..

"Hello Fluf-I mean Bakura. What are singing today?" Marik asked intently, forgetting that Simon was in the room. Luckily for him though, Fluffy is now what the Baka-Kitty Fangirls established with LittleKuriboh as his nickname.

"Don't call me Fluffy you wanker! And I am singing my own version of Thriller by Michael Jackson. So let me begin already!" Bakura barked at his Egyptan, which was ironic because he tends to more feline than canine.

"Fluffy….." Marik mumbled under his breath, and the instrumental began and Simon started to have chills already….

_It's close to midnight_

_something evil's lurkin' in the dark_

_under the moonlight_

_You see a sight that almost stops your heart_

_You try to scream_

_But Bakura takes the sound before you make it_

_You start to freeze_

_As he looks you right between the eyes_

_You're paralyzed_

_'Cause this is Murder!_

_Murder night!_

_And no one's gonna save you_

_From the Yami about to strike_

_You know it's Murder!_

_Murder night..._

_You're fighting for your life_

_Inside a killer_

_Murder tonight, yeah._

_You hear the door slam_

_And realize there's nowhere left to run_

_You feel my cold hand_

_And wonder if you'll ever see the sun_

_You close your eyes_

_And hope that this is just imagination_

_Girl, but all the while_

_You hear me creepin' up behind_

_You're outta time_

_'Cause this is Murder!_

_Murder night!_

_There ain't no second chance_

_to fight the thing with the Millennium Ring, girl_

_(Murder...)_

_(Murder night!)_

_You're fighting for your life_

_Inside a killer_

_Murder tonight_

_Shadow creatures crawl_

_In the depths up to haunt in their masquerade_

_There's no escaping the clutches of me this time_

_(They're closed down)_

_Is the end of your life_

_I'm out to get you_

_There's shadow creatures in on every side_

_They will capture you_

_Unless you change the fate of this duel_

_Now is the time_

_For you to defeat him forever, yeah_

_All through the night_

_It'll save you from the terror here on the scene_

_I'll make you see_

_That this is Murder!_

_Murder night!_

_'Cause he will can kill you more_

_Than any Yami would ever dare try_

_(Murder...)_

_(Murder night!)_

_So let me hold you tight_

_And share a_

_killer, diller, chiller_

_Murder here tonight_

_'Cause this is Murder!_

_Killer night!_

_Girl, I can kill you more_

_Than any ghost would ever dare try_

_(Murder!...)_

_(Murder night!)_

_So let me hold you tight_

_And share a_

_(killer, thriller)_

_I'm gonna get you tonight_

_[Rap]_

_Darkness falls across the land_

_The midnight hour is close at hand_

_Shadow creatures crawl in search of blood_

_To terrorize y'all's neighborhood_

_And those whoever shall be found_

_Without the soul for getting down_

_Must stand and face Zorc necrophles_

_And be banished to the Shadow Realm_

_I'm gonna kill you tonight_

_(Murder, Killer)_

_I'm gonna kill you tonight_

_(Murder night, killer)_

_I'm gonna kill you tonight_

_Ooh, babe, I'm gonna kill you tonight_

_Murder night, babe_

_[Rap]_

_The foulest stench's in the air_

_The funk of 3,000 years_

_And sinister spirits from every Egyptian ring_

_Are closing in to seal your doom_

_And though you fight to stay alive_

_Your body starts to shiver_

_for no mere mortal can resist_

_the evil of Bakura!..._

_(Evil laugh)_

As the song finished, Bakura left leaving the dumbstruck duo to ponder what the hell happened. As the day went on, the "Dead Weight" completely froze and then went into a little coma.

"/Yami does this have anything to do with you? /" Yugi asked, suspicious of his dear Aibou's activities.

"/ I've done nothing at all! I think Yami No Bakura has been up to his old tricks again.. Anyways, it is my turn to perform Aibou, so I'll use your body and tell you if something's up./" Yami replied. With that, Yami came out to play- I mean to sing…

"Hello Pharaoh, what are you singing for us today?" Marik asked curiously as he didn't know that Yami could even sing at all.

"Well Marik, I'm singing my own version of "This Is Halloween" by Danny Elfman." Yami replied politely as the instrumental began…

_Fanboys and girls of every age  
Wouldn't you like to see something strange?_

Come with us and you will see  
This, our town of Domino

This is Yu-Gi-Oh!, this is Yu-Gi-Oh!  
Duelists scream in the dead of night

This is Yu-Gi-Oh!, everybody duels the game king  
Play shadow games till the opponents die of fright  
It's our town, everybody Duels  
In this town of Domino

I am the one hiding In the Millennium Ring  
Teeth ground sharp and eyes glowing red

I am the one hiding in the Millennium Puzzle  
Fingers in my dueldisk and hairspray in my hair

This is Yu-Gi-Oh!, this is Yu-Gi-Oh!

Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh!  
In this town we call home  
Everyone hail to the Game King now

In this town, don't we love it now?  
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

Round that corner, Bakura hiding in the trash can  
Something's waiting now to pounce, and how you'll...

_Scream! This is Yu-Gi-Oh!  
Red 'n' black, golden bangs_

Aren't you scared?

Well, that's just fine  
Say it once, say it twice  
Take a chance and play the card  
Ride with on the blimp in the dead of night

Everybody scream, everbody scream

In our town of Domino!

I am the Yami with the Fangirls lovable face  
Here in a flash and gone without a trace

I am the "who" when you call, "Who's there?"  
I am the wind blowing through your ridiculous hair

I am the shadow dueling at night  
Filling your dreams to the brim with fright

This is Yu-Gi-Oh, this is Yu-Gi-Oh  
Yu-Gi-OH! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh!  
Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh!

Duel Monster cards everywhere  
Life's no fun without a god card

That's our job, but we're not mean  
In our town of Domino

In Domino

Don't we love it now?  
Everybody's waiting for the next surprise

Yami Yugi might catch you in the back  
And play the Egyptian god card  
Make you jump out of your skin  
This is Yu-Gi-Oh, everyone scream  
Wont' ya please make way for a very special guy

Our man Yami is King of Games  
Everyone hail to the Game King now!

This is Yu-Gi-Oh!, this is Yu-Gi-Oh!  
Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh! Yu-Gi-Oh!

In this town we call home  
Everyone hail to the Yu-Gi-Oh song

Do ta la la la la-la la [Repeat]

As Yami finished, Marik was again in shock. This time though, it wasn't the parody that was the factor. It was the smexiness of Yami's voice that both shocked him and strangely attracted him to the King of Games. But that not's right, he's only an enemy to him nothing more. As Yami left the stage, he could feel something tugging him to Marik. As he was about to talk to him though, Yami's head fell down and Yugi emerged…

"/Yami well done! I think Marik wants to talk to you but can that wait until after I perform? I'm last to go and I really want to sing./" Yugi asked excitedly as he approached the stage.

"/Ok Aibou, I'll talk to him tomorrow. For now I'm exhausted so I will watch you from my soul room. Good luck!/" Yami replied as he retreated to the puzzle.

"Hello little Yugi, it is I! Marik Ishtar! Now what will you will be singing today?" Marik announced in an overly dramatic fashion.

"Well I want to keep it a surprise Marik, but I think you'll recognise it." Yugi replied politely as the instrumental began. Yugi then started dancing and it was so contagious Marik started dancing as well.

_The Pharaoh!_

_If there's somethin' strange in Domino_

_Who ya gonna call (The Pharaoh)_

_If it's somethin' weird and it wants to duel_

_Who ya gonna call (The Pharaoh!)_

_I ain't afraid of no Bakura_

_I ain't afraid of no Melvin_

_If you're hearing things runnin' thru your head_

_Who can you call (The Pharaoh)_

_An' invisible man sleepin' in your head_

_Oh who ya gonna call (ghostbusters)_

_I ain't afraid a no Bakura_

_I ain't afraid a no Melvin_

_Who ya gonna call (The Pharaoh)_

_If you're all alone and you see the puzzle glow_

_He's here (The Pharaoh!)_

_(A-tem A-tem A-tem YYYAMI)_

_I ain't afraid a no Bakura_

_(A-tem A-tem A-tem YYYAMI)_

_I hear they have Fangirls_

_(A-tem A-tem A-tem YYYAMI)_

_I ain't afraid a no Melvin_

_(A-tem A-tem A-tem YYYAMI!)_

_Who you gonna call (The Pharaoh!)_

_Mm... if you've had a dose_

_Of a freaky Yami Bakura_

_You better call The Pharaoh_

_Duelin' makes me feel good_

_I ain't afraid a no Melvin_

_Don't get caught alone oh no... The Pharaoh!_

_When he comes through your door_

_Unless you've just got some more_

_I think you better call The Pharaoh_

_Ooh... who you gonna call (The Pharaoh)_

_Who you gonna call (The Pharaoh!)_

_Ah, I think you better call (The Pharaoh)_

_I can't hear you... (The Pharaoh!)_

_Who you gonna call (The Pharaoh!)_

_Louder! The Pharaoh!_

_Who you gonna call (the Pharaoh)_

_Who you can call The Pharaoh... (till fade)_

As Yugi finished, he noticed that Marik was still dancing even though the music stopped. Simon dimissed him accordingly, and as Yugi left he thought of what Simon and Marik were talking about; no doubt it was of the upmost importance and completely relevant to the competition…

"Behold Simon, the full power of my midriff!" Marik shouted as his midriff gleamed with the intensity of a thousand suns, blinding the judge and sending the area ablaze with a white and tanned light…

**Hey guys DSY here! Sorry for the delay but I had to make this one special, happy belated Halloween! And Yes there is only the decision to be made after Simon recovers from overexposure to Marik's midriff, Thanks as always to DAS for the awesome Beta-ing and see you again, **

**Your DSYxxx**

**Heheh. Dynamite and Soup was here.**


End file.
